How many of you have had the ‘Stranger Danger’ talk with your children. How have you approached the topic of greeting someone whether it’s people they know or those they don’t? I admit, this can be a tricky topic, specially because it’s not like you can teach your children to categorise people into two groups : Non-strangers and Strangers. It’s a little bit more than just that. What about the teachers they see every weekday? What about the security guard they pass by outside their building/community? What about the smiling waiter who approaches you with some candy? As a mother, it is very important for me to teach my daughter about this at an early age and though we’ve briefly spoken about it, I have found the below post by my guest, Rafia, very helpful and am sure so will you.

Rafia is an Early Intervention Specialist with seven years of experience working with children with additional challenges. Throughout her career she has supported children in developing their academic, sensory, social and communication skills, and overcoming challenging behaviours.  Her experience ranges from one-on-one sessions in the home environment to classroom settings in inclusive schools and early intervention centres.

My Social Circles- The Activity

‘My Social Circles’ is an activity that I recommend every parent do with their child. It is such a multipurpose tool to teach them about personal space, social distance, appropriate social interaction, body safety, stranger safety and safe/unsafe touch. Statistics show that 77% of parents don’t feel confident speaking to their children about abuse awareness and body safety strategies. However, fun and interactive activities like these make it simpler and easier to break the ice on such concepts with your child.

For this activity, you will need:

Coloured papers in 5 different colours. Cut them out in circles, each bigger than the next, as shown above.

Visuals of a hug, a high five, a wave and a  No talking image.

Photos of the child, family members, friends, neighbours and helpers. Limit these photographs to only those people that your children encounter on a regular basis. Also print photos of ‘strangers’ which can be pictures of random people off the internet.

Assembling it all together

This activity is best done on a child’s bedroom wall or the back of their bedroom door so you can refer to it and reinforce appropriate social distance and touch from time to time.

Help your child in cutting the coloured papers, and pasting photos in the correct circles. You can help them with a hand on hand prompt, if required.  This will keep you both engaged, keep the conversation flowing and provide plenty of opportunities to work on their speech and language too!

Use very simple terms to explain:

The smallest circle is you. Let’s put your photo in this one.

What’s the blue circle? It says, ‘Family’. Which photos can we paste here?

Let them have a think, and come up with mommy, daddy, and siblings’ names.

“How about Grandpa and Grandma? … Yes, they also go in the blue circle, because they are…. Family!”

These are all the people you can give hugs.

You can repeat the same sort of questions for aunts, uncles, and cousins that they see on a regular basis, if you want to include them.

What colour is the next circle?

Green!

Good job! Green is for Friends. Hmmm, who are your friends. Let’s find out photos of your friends from here.

With friends, we high five!

These can include family friends and cousins that they have regular play dates with and their close friends in the classroom.

What colour is the next circle? That’s right, yellow! Yellow is for all other people you know. Let’s look at their photos. There’s Mary (housekeeper), Aunty Salma (neighbor), Usman (driver), Dr Tahir (paediatrician), Hassan (guard), and Ali Uncle (father’s friend).

We only wave at people in the yellow box.

This circle consists of acquaintances such as neighbours, and helpers that the child comes across frequently.

And what’s the red circle? It says… Strangers.

Strangers are people we don’t know. We don’t know their names.

We don’t talk to strangers, unless mommy or daddy are with us. Like all these people (show them photos of random people).  Let’s paste them all in the Strangers circle.

Practice these ‘social circles’ in daily life as well.

Rayan (sibling) is family… and Granddad is….

Give them a moment to come up with the answer. If they can’t, show them on “My Social Circles” artwork to give a visual cue.

How do we greet Hassan (guard)?

By waving!

Yes, he is in the yellow circle.

Show them a few strangers when you are out in the marketplace or in a park.

We don’t know that woman. She is a stranger.

Can you talk to strangers?

No…. only if I am with mommy or daddy.

Practice saying this answer with them a few times.

Once they have internalized “My Social Circles” program, they will be able to generalize it to other social situations. If the driver goes in for a hug in your absence, for example, it will strike them as ‘unsafe’ and they will come and let you know. If a stranger calls out to them in a park, they will first look for you for approval.

The advantages are immense. I encourage all parents to implement ‘My Social Circles’ program in their homes. I would love to hear your feedbacks! If you hit any roadblocks, or need answers to any questions or confusions, please feel free to write to me.

About Rafia

Rafia has recently started blogging on Instagram to share her expertise with parents and caregivers. She aims to raise awareness about unconventional concepts such as Body Privacy, Consent, Safe/Unsafe touch etc, that are indispensable for a child’s development. You can follow her on Instagram here.

Rafia has also written another valuable blog post on Body Safety, which talks about safe and unsafe touch. You can find it on Mummy on my Mind’s blog by clicking here.d

Disclaimer: The above views and opinions are those of the guest blogger.